Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Roundup On The Awful Subject Of Pedophiles

Unfortunately, my style of blogging makes this subject somewhat of an unapproachable Rubicon in the land of Taboo.

Yet, I cross it.

If people new to this blog think my tasteless approach to the Michael Jackson acquittal is a fly-by-night attempt to Google my way into traffic, you're mistaken. This is a subject I broached a long time before Gollum was acquitted of playing baby bartender at NeverLand Ranch, back when the day-to-day banalities of the trial became as plaid and abstract as an arhythmic spin-cycle at a laundromat.

In that light, I give you an itemized reprise of my passions about these people, and the way society continues to hold children liable for the bad checks written by the adults who are supposed to protect them. I also believe the real issue behind these satirical forays should be apparent--in spite of the black thread of irony that runs through them:

Cartilaginous, Marbly-Skinned Hermaphrodites Underrepresented On Jackson Jury

Paroled Child Molester Given 25 Years For Spamming

Defense Cites "Millions Of People Not Molested By Jackson" As Basis For Acquittal

Lawmakers Relieved As Florida Girl's Abduction, Rape, Murder Deemed Not A Hate Crime

Nation's Judges Issue Dire Warning To Sex Offenders: You Will Be Caught And Released

Accuser Now Says He Molested Michael Jackson

I was going to throw in the story I did about John McCain having his own children appraised on Antiques Roadshow as part of the pantheon, but I won't--regardless of the fact that his "deal" with senate democrats virtually guarantees the retention of judges that love to provide moving vans and expunged records for baby rapers.

Proximity is as good as complicity when it comes to him, but I'm not in the mood to find the link.

The Therapist

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