Friday, February 25, 2005

Cartilaginous, Marbly-Skinned Hermaphrodites Underrepresented On Jackson Jury

No Need For Blacks On Jury: Jackson, when he
was still African-American (left) Now, as an anorexic
caucasian spook-house side show (right) Jackson
attributes his whiteness, straight hair and supple
lip lines to a rare skin disorder--and a steady diet
of toddler.

Los Angeles--Controversy swirled around the Michael Jackson jury selection process, as critics maintain that no sufficiently-acceptable peers have been selected to sit, as either a primary or alternate juror.

"There's no need for blacks on this jury," said an inside source. "Michael's whiter than a Teutonic albino with an ultraviolet aversion."

The controversy exists in and around the fact that not even a single, androgynous, pasty, reconfigured skeleton with a voice that high for no medical reason has been posted into a jury seat.

"This is just appalling," said an unnamed member of the Mozart Aria Castrati Union # 235. "Every defendant deserves at least a modicum of peer representation with charges as serious as these. "Even the kids Michael sleeps with would have to grant him that."

Certain African American contenders for a jury seat, hence rejected, have posited that perhaps a conspiratorial bent kept any people of color from the jury. Others say that because Jackson is a white man, that a demonstrable need for ethnic diversity is a moot case.

"Just look at him," said juror # 11. "Had this case been adjudicated during the Thriller or The Wiz or even his Rockin Robin career phases--when he actually had a nose--I'd be ready to assent to the complaints. But his proboscis is a letter opener and he looks like the lead role from the movie Powder."

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