Saturday, June 18, 2005

ABC News: Karl Rove Controlling Howard Dean's Mouth By Remote Control

Dean's trademark acid-tongue may not be his own.
ABC News has uncovered evidence that his most
recent offenses may be originating from a makeshift
broadcast location.

Washington—Howard Dean's remarks in recent history, including ones where he says he "hates republicans," "republicans have never made an honest living," and "The republicans are a white Christian party" have not fared so well in the republican arena.

ABC News' investigative powers have now shown why.

"We are not sure as to the exact mechanisms employed," said one ABC News insider. "But The GOP is somehow in control of certain neurological switches within the brain of Howard Dean. These remarks, though emanating from Dean's mouth, are the brainchildren of Karl Rove."

Other analysts note that Dean's uncharacteristic and indirect defense of Israel was also another “cleverly-timed gaffe,” that evaporates the effectiveness of the DNC Chairman, who could be rallying the grassroots democrats instead of making “public over-corrections” to counteract each and every gaffe.

“Now, he’s gonna have to go to a black Baptist church one day, and eat strudel out of a yarmulke the next,” said one analyst. “The guy just can’t win.”

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