Monday, May 16, 2005

Muslims Sorry For Riots, Murder In Wake Of Faulty Newsweek Story

Islamabad--Muslims from across the Arab world issued a uniform, Mea Culpa today, apologizing for "misplaced strategic random killings, rapes, and riots" brought on the in the wake of a faulty Newsweek story.

Newsweek had falsely written that American forces desecrated a Koran to intimidate Muslim detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

"We are so, so sorry," said Hashneesh Eyekilloo. "Had we known the dubious merit of the story, we would have never allowed out unbridled rage and hatred for the infidel to spill over into unchecked violence, random tortures, and the desecration of anything we could get our hands on."

"Let's just say that we are issuing a retraction," said another spokesman. "Now we need to get back to work for the Arab people. So let's put this behind us shall we?”

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