Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Hillary Clinton Vows: "I'll Serve a Full 13-Months In Senate If Reelected"

Senator "completely ruling out" presidential run in 2006, 2007

Clinton: Vows to not let right-wing
attack machine drive her into premature
presidential politics. Vows to serve a
"full percentage" of her term if reelected.

Washington--Attempting to allay the fears of her own New York constituency, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is "complete ruling out" running for the presidency in the 2006 and 2007 election cycles.

"My goal is to become reelected as your senator in this, the greatest state in the union," she said. "And I swear to you until my dying breath: reelect me in 2006, and I'll give this state the most energetic 13-months in the legislative history of this state."

Constituents around the state have breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“We’ve been worried,” said 58-year-old Alf Eindit. “Worried that our protector—the literal vanguard of all that is good was going to become caught up in the narcissistic vortex of presidential politics. We now have her solemn oath that she won’t this year.”

Critics of the senator say that Senator Clinton is again hedging, and that the Presidential election isn’t until 2008—a year that transcends even Mrs. Clinton’s iron-clad promise. Her defenders say she is just suffering more right-wing attacks.

“If you want to listen to the Bloggers, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh say that the election is in 2008, then by George go ahead and believe it,” said one Hillary aide with a laugh. “We’re just going to be here plugging away for the good people of New York for the next 30 months.”

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