Sunday, January 23, 2005

Wal-Mart Greeter Has Glass Jaw

--Leesville, LA.

The Leesville, Louisiana Wal-Mart was agog this afternoon, as 67-year-old Herbert Dozier went down "after only one punch." An altercation ensued shortly after Dozier insisted that 22-year old Chase Armado "put a little sticky thing" on the item he was intending to return.

Herbert Dozier--his over-the-top
style overshadows his apparent
inability to take a punch

Greeters serve the secondary duty of delineating previously-purchased items from those still the property of the store. "This is a precaution meant to protect the legitimate consumer, rather than an attempt to stem a tide of shoplifting," one under-manager stated.

Bystanders say that Dozier was "physically equal" to Armado, and are puzzled that he went down so quickly. "It appears that the assailant did not know his own strength," said the source.

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