Friday, January 21, 2005

Terrorists Threaten To Detonate Antibacterial "Clean Bomb" in Europe

European countries were placed on notice this morning as operatives for balkanized terrorist groups have made credible threats to detonate a bomb that can "disinfect an entire city in a matter of seconds."

French officials are especially tentative, as their tendencies to eschew hygenic safeguards are seen as a prime target or such an insidious device. But Europe's overall penchant for smelly, coagulated rivers and fermented fecal essence places the radius of potential threat "nearly anywhere," states one european official.

It is believed that the ability to manufacture an antibacterial bomb was acquired by terrorist networks a few years ago. "The internet has let the informational cat out of the bags," said one EU spokesperson. "But the arab penchant for stupefying chemistry understanding is unmatched anywhere in the world."

The anonymous source said they were referring to the cryptic molecular compound, trinitrotoluene, otherwise known outside academic spheres as TNT.
"Anybody can post this stuff on the net," he said, but only a ruthless genius could actually decipher these things without being a human Rosetta Stone."

The sheer preponderance of the other items, make the bomb a "potential spectre of European washing and wiping" they said.

The availability of antibacterial soap and it's mechanized envoys
are patently useless without the ability to decipher mind-numbing,
molecular conundrums.

The molecular labyrinth,
known as trinitrotoluene. First deciphered
by genius, arab terrorists.

Despite the widespread availability of the techniques required to theoretically make such a device, sources close to The Therapist would only say, "we don't want to encourage anymore hand washing than there will already be if this thing really goes. Next thing you know, every stinking Kyoto sychophant will have to live up to their own standards."

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