Saturday, January 22, 2005

Federal Judge Orders Jane Roe's 34-Year-Old Baby To Be Aborted


Marking the 32-year anniversary of Roe v. Wade, a federal Judge of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has ordered Norma McCorvey's 34-year old daughter to be aborted.

Norma McCorvey "Roe" in the landmark Roe v. Wade
decision(top). The plaintiff, now 34 years old with an outstanding warrant

McCorvey gave the child up for adoption, as the landmark Supreme Court decision came two years after the original brief was filed. McCorvey was pregnant at the time. She has since embraced christianity and has hence renounced any involvement in the case.

The majority opinion expresses the sheer anguish of the court's findings, insofar as the issues of abortion are primarily economic:

"The court feels that a retroactive abortive remedy would best maintain the spirit of the law, despite the letter of it. We realize that the cryptic safeguards built into the adoption process is prohibitively expensive, and that finding the actual fetal plaintiff will be next to impossible. The court therefore finds that all caucasian women born in 1971 will be subject to the remedial surgical removal process."

The majority opinion does not state when the en masse evacuations are to occur, but federal officials are acknowledging a spike in saline reserves. One source close to the court's inner sanctums disagrees with the decision.

"Though I take serious umbrage with this court," states the 34-year old waitress, "I will respect and abide by their decision. That's what being an American is all about."

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