Monday, January 17, 2005

Jesse Jackson Reminds Church He Was "Under Balcony" When King Assassinated

Editor's Note: The following article is satire. Before anyone tries to have the ACLU peering down my esophagus with a 1st. Amendment tongue depressor, just remember that I am mocking Jesse Jackson's apalling carjacking of African-American sociopolitical protocol--not the wonderfully brave and life-changing legacy of Dr. King.
If one wants to read a legitimately introspective tribute to King's legacy, then read this 1st-person account by RightwingSparkle.

--The Therapist

Jonesboro, Ga- The Rev. Jesse Jackson brought an entire church congregation to stunning, contemplative silence this morning when he implicitly reminded them he was under the balcony on which Dr. Martin Luther King was shot.
The Rev. Jesse Jackson

Jackson's firebrand, rhyming cant could be heard recalling the drastic moments of April 4th, 1968, when King's life was cut short by James Earl Ray. One famous picture shows other companions pointing to the assassin's window, but Jackson has maintained all along that he was pointing from beneath the balcony as well.

Jackson (second from left) with Dr. King,
before pointing begins.

A mortally wounded King with those
who are not Jesse Jackson, pointing
to assassin's cove. Jackson was pointing
from beneath.

"One of Jesse's great regrets is that he could not be photographed pointing from the same balcony, thus solidfying his legacy as the titular, heir-aparrent to King's legacy." said one of Jackson's personal aides. "Now he has to keep doing this whole, 'I'm the fifth Beatle' jig that is quite frankly, embarrassing at times."

But any percieved cloying and coattailing of King's legacy on the part of Jackson to the rest of the world was lost on the forgiving congregation at Dixon Road Baptist church this morning.

"Just as long as he pointed," said one parishoner. "That gives him a lot more moral latitude with regard to his comments about New York being 'Hymietown' and such."

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