Saturday, January 15, 2005

Space probe Discovers Ancestral Race of Rock People

NASA's Titan probe has relinquished photos directly linking the origin of the human race to a little-known race of rock people found habitating on Saturn's moon.

"Speculation about the race by scientists is an already pyrotechnic undertaking," said one source. "How to establish a cogent and meaningful dialogue with these beings is the next real important step."

Probe photograph
of our relatives--NASA

Still, advocates of Creationism, a vapid, theoretical construct, contend that the space program has confirmed nothing, except for the fact that moons are generally thought to be barren, prehistoric wastelands with little or no evidence to suggest anything other than substantiate the moon's role as an intelligently designed gravitational counterbalance to Saturn's massive girth.

Scientists beg to differ. "Listening to the rhetoric of these fanatics makes me want to throw some of those rock people right through their window." said one irate intellectual.

NASA is currently looking for potential help in the form of unusually high linguistic acumen. "The sooner we tap the unfathomable knowledge of these rocks, the sooner we get to peer into the Cradle of Life," one researcher remarked.

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