Sunday, January 16, 2005

Flap-Weary CBS Weighs Replacing Fan of Saddam With Unabomber Admirer

According to Matt Drudge, CBS News executives are engaged in a tepid whispering campaign about their short list of replacements for Dan Rather, notorius sychophantic follower of Saddam Hussein's regime.

Dan Rather, Saddam Fan -- Katie Couric, Unabomber Admirer

On the short list is NBC's Katie Couric, perky morning host and part-time admirer of Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski.

CBS president, Les Moonves could not be reached for comment. However, insiders say the decision to stay "well within the lines of protocol" is the primary plumb-line for choosing a new occupant for the prestigious anchor seat. "We are worn to the nubs with controversy, and we want to stay as far away from the appearance of bias as possible."

"While we want to maintain a distinctly anti-American tone in our reporting, we would rather have prima facie word-association of our anchor's faces with environmental terrorists who hate republicans." said one source close to the process.

Others expressed concern that Couric's aparrent rooting for Saddam during the initial military push into Iraq would hurt her chances.

"We don't think so," said the source. "She's perky. Anybody who can sit in the same room with Bryant Gumbel for an hour without putting a gun to their head can stand the heat of a little controversy."

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