Saturday, June 18, 2005

McCain Recommends Mastercard To Head Up Homeland Security Office

Washington--Arizona Senator, John McCain, suggested today that MasterCard International's recent exposure of 40 million credit card accounts gives them the "experiential edge" to head up America's #1 counter-terrorist office.

"I believe on-line nakedness, and the informational hemorrhaging in MasterCard’s database provides the kind of experience needed to keep terrorist out of the United States," he said. "When your entire industry is full of holes, that means you know how to manage holes. And believe me, I know a hole-ridden entity when I see it."

McCain's proposal, which would theoretically make it easier for terrorist groups to enter the country, has its cynical detractors close behind.

"He's just jockeying for democratic votes," said 24 year-old Nate Ashbury. "I'm not buying it until I see the carnage in my own back yard--I doubt that'll happen until a real democrat gets elected.

Recent polls have indicated that terrorists will make no tangible headway, until a democratic administration is in power.

"Clinton would have never engaged in the kind of military stonewalling Bush has, with his mad dash to stop terrorism," said Ashbury. "This rush to freedom makes me sick."

Who Links Here