Jackson Fans To Author "No Child's Behind Left" Act
Eliminates parental consent clause during molestation of all children by Michael Jackson
Putting feet to their prayers: These Michael Jackson supporters are taking on the role of de facto law-makers, by attempting to avail Michael Jackson to all children nationwide, through comprehensive legislation. (Photo on right the accidental courtesy of Cranky NeoCon)
Los Angeles, Ca.--Thoroughly energized by a resounding legal victory, fans of Michael Jackson are hoping to "de-mystify the chronological gulf" between adults and children, with what is being touted as the No Child's Behind Left Act.
"I want Michael to not only have access to my children, but to have access to your children as well," said one fan who would not provide his name. "It's important that Neverland be always populated with children, and there's only a finite amount out there, when you consider Mr. Jackson's pedophilic appetite."
Democratic members of Congress, already seeking to soften penalties for convicted sex offenders, promised their full support of the law, should it ever reach floor debate.
“It’s not like he’s [Michael Jackson] an insider trader or anything,” said Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Ca.). “These are infractionary matters—and not worthy of the time spent to prevent them.”
Other provisions in the draft version of the bill would also provide for stiff penalties for anyone under the definition of parent or guardian caught sneaking children over the border in order to prevent molestation by Michael Jackson.
posted by Doofus @ 6:07 PM
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