Monday, May 23, 2005

Karzai Blames Bush For Afghan People's Freedom

President's "huggability" makes outlandish demands much easier to take, say officials

Karzai: "US Needs to pay
for Afghnaistan's free markets,
and lack of indicriminate beheadings
in country. Experts indicate the man is so
cute he may actually get his way.

Washington--Afghan President, Hamid Karzai, did not mince words yesterday when he laid the blame for unmitigated freedom in his country at the feet of George W. Bush.

"I am here to forge a strategic partnership with the US," he said. "And by that I mean I am aiming to have the United States prop up our entire economy, health care system, and employment."

Afghanistan has floundered since American forces rid the country of the Taliban, a brutal regime of Islamic fundamentalists that kept the country under tight--and terrifying control.

Karzai said that Mr. Bush had "provided a plethoric degree of individual freedom, without providing a sufficient retraining program for a Taliban-free Afghanistan."

"This is like giving teenagers car keys and alcohol, then expecting them to go out and just have sex," he said. "You provide the freedom--you provide the beds."

Administration officials say that Karzai is a "spunky little Ben Kingsley body-double," and that his "diplomatic tirade makes him even more huggable than he was before he said these things."

"It's everything we can do to keep the President from giving that guy a noogie, " said one Administration official. "We just hope he doesn't wind up signing over federal funds to that little cutie-pie, because we can't afford it."

Who Links Here