Monday, May 23, 2005

Howard Dean Makes Rhetorical Gaffe, Threatens To Kill Republican Party

Washington--Democrats scrambled to repair damage done by Howard Dean's weekend appearances on television talk shows, in which he "slipped" when he threatened to kill the Republican party.

"Anybody can make a rhetorical gaffe," said Senate minority leader, Harry Reid. "Just because he specifically referred to the ritual disembowelment of Bill Frist does not mean that is what he meant."

Dean also confused Osama Bin Laden's name with Saddam while making continued tirades against the justification for the Iraq war.

"We don't think this is worth focusing on," said Reid. "All these people look alike anyway. Confusing one bearded tyrant with another is a completely honest mistake."

Reid also said that Mr. Dean's penchant for waving high-caliber weapons at women and children was "purely an effectual, dramatic bit of posturing," and that he "only did it once anyway."

"Are we going to parse words, or are we going to get down to the people’s business of killing Republican . . .um, republican legislative victories?" he asked."

Dean was unavailable for comment.

"He's on his way to China to speak with president Putin," said Reid. "Leave the man alone, before something bad happens."

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