Saturday, May 07, 2005

Harry Reid To Replace Estelle Getty In Golden Girls Reunion

Prattling, Abrasive geriatric to be skillfully aped by acid-tongued democrat

Sen. Reid is expected to easily fill the "practically unfillable"
shoes left behind by Estelle Getty's pivotal character. Sudden,
incoherent fits of obscenity, and generally vulgar discourse are
paramount to the role.

Washington--Hopes for an official Golden Girls reunion show were all but dashed against the rocks of Estelle Getty's impending senility, as true age takes its toll. Those hopes were rescued yesterday, in the light of public comments made by the leading Democrat about President Bush.

Senator Harry Reid referred to Bush as a "loser" during a discussion on Filibusters.

"This is exactly the kind of incoherent prattling that made Ms. Getty's part so endearing," said one executive behind the protracted reunion. "One minute she's make some caustic sexual innuendo, embarrassing an entire room, and the next she's telling an entire evening soirée she wears rubber underpants. Harry Reid bears these exact same moments of senility. We need that, and we need it now."

Reid claims his remarks were "out of line," and has since apologized.

"And that's exactly why we need him right there between Bea Arthur, Betty White, and Rue McClanahan " said the executive. "Because he is a loose cannon. Not deliberately malicious--his atrophied cognitive processes and calcified synapses ensure that he's not mean. He's just headed for a rest home. Why not forge a lucrative and memorable cameo out of it?"

Reid is said to be considering the honorarium as a tribute to "all prattling, vulgar and downright offensive matriarchs," and that he could "only hope to match" the kind of semi-coherent, irretrievably damaging levels of rhetoric achieved by Getty's character.

Who Links Here