Therapist Acquires More Screwtape/Hillary MissivesEditor's note: Last month, we broke the story in which it was evident that Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton was recieving strategic political advice from demonic advisor, Screwtape (tactical prince of Hell). Further correspondence has surfaced.--T
Washington DC--Appearances of Little Rock/Underworld collusion were further buttressed by the following letter, dated February 11th, and acquired today by The Therapist:
My Dearest Hillary,
Ahh, things are cruising along quite nicely. Your slight, but important shift to the center on abortion was stellar.
But the real success was Dean. It took some serious thimble-rigging to get him to the DNC Chair, but I assure you, it’s worth it. Mephistopheles noted a while back that once Dean was out of the presidential contest, that Kerry had no referential base on which to make himself appear less leftist than he was. We will not make that mistake again.
Letter # 2: Counsel even more nefarious than
Dean’s sole function for you is an optical illusion by proxy; once the electoral gears have started to rotate, you are to merely stake out rhetorically moderate, but ambiguous views on nearly everything. You are guaranteed to be to the right of him (Herod was as well). And Dean’s greatest asset to us is that he really means what he says—it is his continence on issues gives us great predictive latitude (while obfuscation is the preferred artifice of Our Father Below). It is the scorching, white-hot orb of his radicalism that will provide you sufficient political shade to acquire the Presidency, should you avail yourself to it wisely.
The faint was nice, but I would caution you to refrain from much more of it. And you might want to likewise caution Bill from sounding too optimistic. Memory still serves up a healthy recollection of “I think so,” when he was asked if Kerry would defeat Bush. And if we remember it, so will the blogosphere. I will deal with that subject in my next letter.
Your Affectionate Advisor,
Sen. Clinton has yet to produce an adequate explanation for the existence of these letters. Aides said that, while CBS was the likely origin for what they've termed "dubious ordinance," they also indicate the unlikliness of such a scenario, since "CBS is fully in our grotto."
Developing still . . .