Thursday, February 10, 2005

It's Official: Prince Charles To Marry Yushenko-Parker-Bowles

Charles and Yushenko-Parker-Bowles on the town (right)
Yushenko-Parker-Bowles contemplates the "Big M."

London(Rooters)--Prince Charles and Ukrainian President, Victor Yushenko-Parker-Bowles, announced nuptials today, to an eager and curious press.

Queen Elizabeth, an erstwhile opponent of the union, wished them well for their scheduled April 8th civil ceremony at Windsor Castle.

Many have speculated as to whether the timing is "inappropriate," bearing in mind the relatively short time that has passed since princess Diana was killed in an automobile accident.

"It's just preposterous, wrong and immoral," said one reporter for The Insider. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and photograph Brad Pitt's torrid romance with Angelina Jolie."

Others say it's good for the prince to move on, and that his 30-year friendship/affair with Yushenko-Parker-Bowles needs to be validated matrimonially. One of the Prince's valets noted that the ceremonial marriage will do nothing more than highlight an already internal one.

"Oh, it's love all right. I mean look at that face," a veiled reference to the severely deformed facial features--a result of Dioxin poisoning. Yushenko-Parker-Bowles' features were previously compared to revered Hollywood hunks such as Glenn Close, Sarah Jessica parker, and Christopher Lloyd. A contentious, and conspiratorial Ukrainian presidential race changed all that.

Aides to Yushenko-Parker-Bowles say that 'the glow of love" still shines through the pachydermatous crust, however.

"You can't conceal true love." said one aide.

Who Links Here