Phony "Thrown Baby" Story Ruled A Balk By Abortion OfficialsMother to be suspended from "Team Feminism" indefinitely
North Lauderdale, Fl.--Officiating authorities in the Reproductive Rights game ruled today that Patricia Pokriots' made-up story about a baby being thrown from a car window is a balk--a deceptive move that makes the team believe in imminent goal ascendancy, but results in paralyzing setbacks.
The Ball: By having fellow feminists falsely
believe this baby was thrown from a car,
Patricia Pokriot was suspended from the team
for imparting "horrendous disappointment"
to her sisters-in-arms.
"This is nearly unforgivable," said an official from NARAL. "The fact that she fabricated a phantom thrower, and subsequently imputed a savior identity on to herself is really pushing the envelope of what we will tolerate on the team."
Pokriots was suspended from Team Feminism this afternoon, after she had admitted that no newborns were imperiled in anyway, more specifically--not sent spinning headlong out of a fast-moving automobile. NARAL's spokesperson noted that unsolicited infant benevolence is a growing concern.
"We can definitely detect the haunting whiff of life," she said. "It's bad enough that she could potentially save a tossed infant, but to make it up and accept the identity to herself--unconscionable."
Pokriots' return to the team will be contingent upon her ability to produce notarized abortion receipts, along with ability to engage a Pavlovlian, delirium tremens response to pro-life talking points.