Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Islamic Divorce Court Awards Woman Half Of Face

Pakistan--In a surprising legal victory for Muslim women, an Islamic divorce court has granted an as-yet unprecedented legal purse--the right to maintain one half of a shamed face, free of an unwitting hydrochloric acid bath.

Rasheeb: Only half of beauty to be
relegated to an acidic wasteland.

32 year old, Rachel Rasheeb, whose burka obscures her entire face 99% of the time, said through stylized cheesecloth that she is "greatly relieved at the ruling," and that "the court has deemed that I can designate which half of my face is to be maimed by my husband, whom I have shamed before Allah."

The process, while a seemingly brutal process, is culturally believed to be a true equalizer, in a world where modern Muslim women are alleged to be coming to their own conclusions--a cardinal sin, that victimizes many Muslim men, driving them toward rampant bouts of uncontrollable bestiality.

Rasheeb stated that her disfigurement would most likely be implemented in her sleep.

"I have chosen to have the lower half of my face acidicly disintegrated, so as to allow for a more distress-free situation with the eye holes in my summer burka. Chances are it will be tomorrow, before he throws me down the stairs and after he's finished ravishing a dromedary."

Rasheeb's husband could not be reached for comment, but said in a written statement that he will abide by the decision of the court, despite "my whole-face inclinations with regard to justice. Allah will take the other half in his own time."

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