Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Dems Demand "Equal Time" Commemorative Postage Stamps

The New Reagan stamp(left) The Democratic response(right).

Washington--House Democrats today took the occasion of the Postmaster General's unveiling of the new, Ronald Reagan commemorative postage stamp to demand "a stamp that tell the other side of things," going so far as to deliver a protoype "anti stamp" for illustrative purposes.

An aged but undaunted Nancy Reagan unveiled the new presidential stamp today at a ceremony at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, in Simi Valley, Ca., and seemed nonplussed by all the hoopla.

"Let them say what they want, " she said. "The American people would have re-elected Ronnie's stamp before they would've elected John Kerry. They just need to get over it, and accept the facts."

Democrats rolled out a hastily-designed John Hinckley Jr. stamp, which commemorates the life of the would-be assassin who shot the President, along with three other people on March 30th, 1981.

"He could write as well as shoot," said one senior DNC member. "He 's sort of like Maya Angelou, except that she isn't white and doesn't go into lock-down every time the Liquid Paper goes missing. Also, I don't think she's ever shot a sitting president."

Unnamed Democrats are even secretly holding out for a celebrity unveiling by Jodie Foster as well. "We're not sure where she stands on this," they said. "But Streisand said she's 'as good as here' if we need her."

Other potential candidates for Democratic lionization-through-postage are : Ghengis Khan, Fidel Castro, Michael Moore (two stamps), Osama Bin Laden, and a special booklet-form set of stamps celebrating the tenacious spirit of the 19 Saudi Arabian Hijackers that didn't allow "stinkin thinkin" to dissuade them from a spectacularly successful 9/11.

The Iraqi insurgency has also been nominated.

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