PORTER GOSS SHOCKWAVE: Al Qaida Wants To Get Explosives And Do Bad Things
Washington--Sitting before a stunned and silenced Senate panel this afternoon, CIA Director, Porter Goss, said that the terrorists would attempt more terrorists tactics, and this time "try to get the bad stuff that really hurts people."
Porter Goss brought the Senate
to a standstill this afternoon
with his apocalyptic predictions
of "more terror attacks with
bad stuff, near people."
Senators were quick to scramble in the wake of this informational hemorrhaging, and sought to get clarification. Senator Jay Rockefeller was notably passionate.
"Are you trying to say, that if, and I mean if these terror cells can get into the United States with say, a biological weapon, that they would have the audacity to detonate it?" he asked.
"That's exactly what I'm saying," said Goss. "And I mean they'd set it off right in the middle of where people are and stuff."
Rockefeller was quick to criticize as well. "Why have we not known the depths of ruthlessness to which these people will stoop before now?" he asked. "And for Pete’s sake, especially when we find out that they may actually try to kill people."
Senator Kennedy queried both Goss, and FBI Director, Robert Mueller, about the "transferability of harems" in accordance with constitutional interpretation. He then goosed a page before retiring for the day.
Goss also indicated that intercepted chatter through various intelligence avenues show a "distinct pattern of violence," never before seen in terror networks. Rockefeller followed with another attempt to clarify the general.
"So you imply to this panel that these terror cells may employ terrorist tactics?," he asked.
"I do not imply it. I assure you. My finely tuned ear for this stuff is quite adept. Do not be fooled by the threats, the videotaped beheadings, and the alliterative and monotonous yammering out of the Koran. These people are dangerous."
posted by Doofus @ 11:36 PM
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