Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Mianstream Media No Longer Enamored With Phrase "Story That Just Won't Go Away."

CBS particularly irritable; hoping new Blogosphere/McCarthyism analogy sticks

Washington--The mainstream media networks, at one time enamored with hearing themselves intone the epic-sounding phrase "The story that just won't go away," are opting to strike the phrase from the collective consciousness.

"This phrase hails back to the day that true journalists were at the helm," said an ABC News executive, "we believe it was deeply forged in the pyrrhic heat of the Watergate and Iran-Contra scandals. Now the blogosphere has polluted the selective indignancies the phrase is meant to bring into relief."

The phrase was also used to highlight the "Nazi history" of Gov. Schwarzenegger's father, an antiquated DUI charge against George W. Bush, and most recently a now-discredited series of documents that could have turned the presidential race for John Kerry.

Many in the blogosphere believe the phrase is employed for its imagery--A Republican malefactor cringing at the top of a tree while the bloodhounds of journalistic integrity flush him out. "It's been a very useful technique," said a blogger close to The Therapist. "I'm sure CBS would like the phrase to go away right about now, too."

News executives have been in a frantic, eleventh-hour brainstorming session, to craft a phrase that causes a collective recoil in the blogosphere. "The best we've got right now is that the blogosphere is an unmitigated venture into cyber-McCarthyism," said an unnamed source from the New York Times. "We've considered Racist, Fascist, Anti-choice, Sexual harassers, and the most recently effective Islamophobic, and none have made a dent in the seemingly everyday employment of our once cherished phrase."

Others in mainstream journalism are concerned that they no longer have control of when "stories that won't go away" will go away.

"The sheer import and urgency of a story should be up to us. We are never to actually become the story, but these rhetorical carjackers that call themselves "Bloggers" have ruined everything for us."

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