Sunday, February 06, 2005

Superstitious Judge Vacates 13th Amendment

Blacks ordered back into servitude

Washington--A federal judge, citing "significant and prevailing personal superstitious predilections, inconsistent with prevailing constitutional doctrines" has vacated the 13th amendment to the United States Constitution.

The Amendment was adopted in 1865, and abolished slavery.

The ruling has already been denounced by the AFLCIO, claiming that a "chilling number of good-wage jobs will be lost to involuntary scab workers."

The case is set for immediate appeal to the United States Supreme Court, immediately after Judge Thomas' chores are finished. Legal scholars are contending that the court "cannot function under the cloud of an eight and three-fifths vote aggregation."

Other peripheral and lesser-detailed effects of the ruling include the demolishing of all 13th floors on high-rise buildings, and the complete omission of all chapter 13's from all available written material.

"The law of unintended consequences is about to be enacted," noted one biblical scholar. "A judge that single-handedly tries to play God will do nothing more than incur his wrath. By delivering this ruling, he has also expunged a significant portion of the book of Revelation. And nobody but nobody's got the right to cancel Armageddon by judicial fiat."

Developing . . .

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