Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Islamic Militants Threaten To Behead Vermont Teddy Bear

"We will continue the terror until we have drunk the blood from the necks of your Baby Think It Overs!" Say terrorists.

Broadcast today on an Islamic Website,
terrorists are threatening to kill this unnamed
Vermont teddy Bear unless American forces
release other specified dolls.

--Iraq Isamic insurgents are claiming to have captured a Vermont Teddy Bear from within the Iraqi "green zone," and are threatening to "let the stuffing pour" from the bear's throat unless American Forces release all unjustly held Santeria talismans.

Beheadings have been a brutal, yet resonably ineffective technique employed by militants, especially in the days preceding the American election. The terrorists, with a video being broadcast on an islamic website today, rendered an even more chilling threat:

"We are coming for you, your Baby Think It Overs, and your accessories. We will pluck the arms out of your Ken dolls, and rearrange their arms and legs in the wrong sockets. We will not stop until every rubber eye is plucked from your little lifelike, latex infidels!"

They also threatened to "drink the blood" from all related infant minatures.

Developing . . .

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