Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Kevin Costner Only "Days Away" From Credible British Accent

Hollywood insiders are abuzz, as unconfirmed reports indicate that Waterworld star, Kevin Costner is "on the verge" of the requisite British accent required of other actors. The clearest example is his 1991 leading role in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, in which Costner, playing Robin Hood, was the only man languishing in King Richard's prison that sounded like Tony Danza.

"Normally, a leading role about an existential, ubiquitous social equalizer with prodigious archery skill in 12th century England would require better," said one of Costner's confidants, "but I feel like everything Kevin does is Bull Durham."

Costner's agent is ecstatic. "Maybe he can go and rethink that whole native-American bit he did in Dances With Wolves, too."

(top)Costner in Robin Hood. (bottom) Foxx, discussing how his
imitative talents landed him the leading role in The Kevin Costner

Oddly enough, Costner was rejected the leading role in a coming biopic, The Kevin Costner Story, as "auditory credibility was paramount" to the director.

The lead role is currently being researched by impressionist-extraordinaire, Jaime Foxx.

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