Monday, January 24, 2005

Newspaper Accidentally Reports Islamic Slaughter Of Unimportant Christian Family

"We are thankful for the unilateral lack of press coverage on the whole," say terrorists

--New Jersey

A unified American press corps. has maintained an amazingly tight-lipped approach to covering the recent slayings of a totally expendable Christian family in New Jersey by Muslim extremists.

This code of honor was broken today, however.

One maverick newspaper's editorial slip caused these
mourners to assign artificial value to a Christian family
killed by Islamic visionaries. Traffic along Jersey City's
Bergen Avenue was blocked for hours, and muslims on
their way to prayers were inconvenienced.

The Fort Wayne Journal Gazette, violating the self-imposed gag order, accidentally assigned individual value to the four members of a Coptic Christian religion, who were engaged in proselyte activities in Islamic chat rooms. The paper reads:

The bodies of Hossam Armanious, a 47-year-old Coptic Christian, his 37-year-old wife, Amal Garas, and their daughters, Sylvia, 15, and Monica, 8, were discovered Jan. 14 in the family's home. They had been bound and gagged, and each was stabbed repeatedly in the neck and head. No arrests have been made.

Police have promised to bring the Journal Gazette journalists responsible for imputing value to the family to justice. "This just cannot be tolerated." one officer is quoted.

CBS executives claim that "this would have never happened" on their network. "We are 100% committed to getting rid of all the facts. Dan Rather's ship would never sail such choppy, journalistic waters."

Other journalists, familiar with the age-old trick of mentioning women and children in the course of a statistical rundown, say that such lucid, heart-rending facts are tantamount to blasphemy.

"Next thing you know, FOX News will be reporting protesters outside the hospital when they yank that Terry Schiavo's feeding tube," they said. "What is this world coming to?"

Hat Tip To Michelle Malkin for the JG Story . . .

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