Sunday, July 03, 2005

Newsweek: Karl Rove May Have Used Q’uran, Toilet In Same Sentence

Washington—In a swirl of intirgue that threatens to engulf the entire beltway, Newsweek magazine say they have uncovered evidence that GOP strategist, Karl Rove, may have uttered the word “toilet” in a “general, verbal proximity” to the word “Q’uran.”

“This revelation not only threatens to light up the whole Arab street,” said one Newsweek insider, “but the White House has to be exceedingly nervous about this.”

Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts—a noted expert in the anachronistic submersion of objects—said the situation “could manifest itself gravely” for the GOP.

“Even though we have no proof that Karl Rove engaged in the acts chronicled in the previous fictitious Newsweek story, the simple fact that the allegations, broad as they may be, raise more questions than they answer,” he said. “The brazen use of terms sensitive to the world’s most peaceful religion is worthy of investigation.”

Kennedy also emphasized the governmental resolve to find answers.

“I don’t care if we have to dredge the nearest river, we’re going to get to the bottom of this,” said Kennedy.

GOP insiders scoffed at Kennedy’s posturing.

“As soon as Ted tells us what color upholstery was under Mary Jo’s fingernails, we’ll send Karl Rove out to address the nation,” said one. “Have another drink on us, Senator.”

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