Friday, July 01, 2005

Nancy Pelosi: God Better Pick Pro Choice Candidate

Says she hopes Bush will not divide nation by naming Replacement for O'Connor

House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi (l) said that, while she
"believes in God," she also believes he would refrain from
filling Justice O'Connor's (r) seat with a pro-life candidate.

Washington—Less than 24 hours after equating Supreme Court decisions to “God Speaking,” House minority leader, Nancy Pelosi said she is “not ready” to have God decide the replacement for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor.

Some believe Pelosi was using the broad language about the court to cover her ignorance of the now infamous Kelo decision, concerning Eminent Domain.

“When I said that a court decision was like reiterating the mind of God, I really meant it to mean “oh God, the court has spoken—meaning that the court is also capable of odious decisions—like those in the hotly-contested Kiwi ruling.”

“This could reverberate back to Joe v. Volcano”, she said.

Pelosi also said that the God she serves “would also keep his omnipotent hands off my uterus.”

Justice Sandra Day O’Connor announced her retirement, effective upon the confirmation of her successor in a letter to president Bush this morning. Democrats have noted that they “are gearing up to break their record 37-day, self-imposed moratorium on filibustering nominees, as per the highly-publicized Senate Compromise in May.

“It’s been a long time coming,” said Pelosi. “I think my colleagues in the Senatewill agree that ‘extraordinary circumstances’ now mean ‘vacancy.’ We sincerely hope that president Bush can rise above his petty politics and avoid dividing this country with a replacement.”

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