Thursday, June 30, 2005

Those Swift Boat Guys Will Stop At Nothing To Overturn A Fair Iranian Election

By Dan Rather,
Guest Columnist

The Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-Iranian hostage taker similarities are fakes. I’ve carefully studied the 1979 photographs from the American Embassy ordeal, and compared them with the current pictures of president-elect Ahmadinejad, and come to an unequivocal conclusion. It cannot be the same man.

The man elected by the brilliant Iranian electorate is at least 25 years older than the man they say took them hostage. Gotcha, blogosphere. Courage!

This just goes to show the bias out there. This is just another, reconstituted cadre of embittered swift boat guys, who can’t put 444 days of blindfolded captivity behind them. And this specious claim by former hostages is just another Rovian attempt to:

-Overturn the will of the Iranian people

-Attack the credibility and the honorable military service of John Kerry.

When I saw the discrepant ages between the guy in the 1979 photograph and the man who will become the next president of Iran, I thought to myself, “yeah, ought to jump on this faster than Michael Jackson at a Martini & Rossi day-care center. But nooooo! Did they care to mark the obvious, aesthetic differences between one man’s black beard and the other’s salt and pepper facial hair?

No. Courage!

Did Powerline find the mental acuity to notice that these two men part their hair in distinctly different ways?

No. Courage!

So while those Powerline thugs that ended my career are intoxicated with their conversations with Sean Hannity guest hosts, I’m coming in from the flank with the hard facts—now more than ever!

A journalist may never have the good hand of Providence ever deliver them a single morsel of news or revelation that will make their career even once. I know have before me, the explosive components that will resurrect mine: the obvious, chronological discrepancies being promulgated by the blogosphere. And I thank God for it.

This may be enough to get me off of Thorazine, and allow me into the veranda to watch reruns of my hurricane reports.

Courage, people. Goodnight.

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