Saturday, June 25, 2005

Agency Accustomed To Breaching, Probing May Have Been Breached, Probed

Washington—Noting it’s own “breaching and probing acumen,” The Internal Revenue Service is investigating whether or not the tax collecting body may itself have been the focus of probes and breaches.

The US Tax agency’s database contains millions of files—including reports of suspicious activity from banks connected to potential terrorists organizations, not to mention the work-a-day information gathered on a continual basis. Officials inside the agency are not happy.

“When you are accustomed to being the one doing the breaching and probing, you never exactly find yourself existing outside your comfort bubble,” said one official. “Peering into the everyday lives of the average citizen is part and parcel of our birthright. To think that we have come under equal scrutiny by an unnamed entity—well isn’t that special?”

Some note that the investigation is an automated mechanism when red flags are raised, and that there is “no direct proof” that any of the breaching and probing was engaged in by anyone other than authorized breachers.

Many believe the intangible “status gap” between breachers and probers could have contributed to the latest reports of suspicious activity as well.

“The probe clans have ruled the kitchen for quite a while now,” said one Breacher, wishing to remain anonymous. “Sometimes you find your self Breaching, just to keep your strength up. It’s a prober’s world, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.”

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