Friday, April 01, 2005

Idol Competitors Worried Finalist's Violent Rap Sheet Provides Unfair Advantage

Fellow contestants weigh beating own wives for balance

Scott Savol's domestic abuse rap sheet has record
executives clamoring for him to sign a contract, as his
propensity for beating women raises his net worth

Los Angeles--Fellow competitors on television's American Idol are pensive that recently-emerging evidence of one finalist's violent past could provide an "insurmountable edge" with the public, whose telephonic votes decide the ultimate winner.

Idol finalist, Scott Savol, was arrested in February 2001 in what is being referred to as a "Valentines Day Fracas," by The Smoking Gun.

The fight, which ultimately resulted in Savol's breaking of a telephone on the chest of his son's mother, is considered by many to be the kind of career insurance that will pay huge dividends--insofar as those normally inclined to vote against the singer could possibly vote for him.

"There's just something irresistible about the lovable degenerate," said one insider for the show. "Look at 50 cent, Tommy Lee, Michael Jackson, etc. From what we understand, some of the other men in the competition are considering beating their own wives, just to try to tip the balance back into calibration."

Others think that Savol may have put all his eggs in one basket for a singing career, assuming that no other appalling behavior on the part of his musical nemeses has been chronicled by the police.

"One guy sleeping with children, and Savol's out," said one source. "There's also the outside chance that Simon could tip off some latent berserker rage during the live broadcast; Constantine's affable rocker image forever eclipsed by knifing an audience member. Let’s not also rule out some hidden solicitation rap sheet from Mohawk girl. It's still a crap shoot, although it's Savol's competition to lose right now."

Savol is said to be looking for custom pajama bottoms for the next performance, and has tentative plans to "smack down" a mannequin with a petite frame, while singing Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative."

Who Links Here