The Therapist

God Overturns Judicial Appeals To Have Messiah Reinserted In Tomb

Brief claims that Savior didn't want to rise again

The Tomb: Greer is claiming that
Messianic exit was neither common,
nor an intended exercise by Jesus, who
displayed "clear and present reluctance"
to resurrect

Jerusalem--The Lord God Almighty, ruling for the 2000th time, again denied judicial requests to have Jesus of Nazareth reinserted into the tomb of Joseph of Arimathea.

Pinellas County Circuit Judge, George Greer, stood outside the empty tomb today, conducting a vigil with justices from the Florida Supreme Court, The Atlanta Circuit Court, as well as Justice William Renquist, who arrived late after being connected to a potassium monitor.

“We are pleading with Mr.God, that despite the fact that this man Jesus, is really a human revelation of his own divinity, that he allow certain anecdotal testimonies from his humanity to be allowed into the appeal,” said Greer.

Greer claims that despite overt claims to “raising the Temple in three days,” as well as numerous dinnertime inferences to “returning on clouds of glory,” that the Messiah had also attempted to voice to those at the Last Supper that he intended to remain in the spacious, borrowed tomb.

The Last Supper: DaVinci's classic work shows
a chaotic, noisy dinner scenario in which Greer claims is
"ripe for misunderstandings of Messianic intent."

“What we have here is the overt insertion of life into a situation not conducive to life,” said Greer. “Reanimation by the Holy Ghost is neither a consistent practice, nor a common one. We are simply asking Mr. God to allow the Messiah to be at least temporarily reinserted into the tomb, until further proof of his death can be acquired.”

Greer also claims to have witnesses to the off-record claims of the Messiah. Judas Iscariot, the most dubious in terms of credibility, and two more with far less media exposure, Hymenias and Alexander—who are not only followers of the Savior, but claim to be “reformed believers” in the resurrection.

Greer says that they will continue to appeal through the Easter weekend if need be.

“People don’t realize, He just feels like He’s living inside them,’ he said. “We know better.”

posted by Doofus @ 8:52 AM