Sunday, February 20, 2005

Hollywood Courageously Tackles 9/11 Attacks

Movie to portray Nazi hijackers, Muslim firefighters

Hollywood, Ca.-- Never one to shy away from confronting the world's impending evils, Hollywood producers are staring the Third Reich square in the eye with a new film depicting the attacks of September 11th, 2001.

The producers have opted for slight, "artistic interpretations," in which the hijackers will be portrayed as Nazis, and all members of the FDNY as Muslims, saving people from the unexpected conflagration that became known as "Ground Zero."

Oliver Stone hopes that augmented and catastrophic
attacks by Muslims against the US will provide more
windows of opportunity to defeat Hitler through cinema
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"These changes are very subtle," said director Oliver Stone. "We feel that the "Muslim as antagonist" scenario will be lost on the audience, as they are unable to effectively deal with their feelings about Islam in light of the 9/11 attacks. And we don't want infidels in the audience drawing a specious link between the Koran and those who do what it tells them."

Stone's film, Blitzkrieg 9/11: Strike of the Reich, is expected to be thought of as more of a "feel-good" movie, than a blatant statement about the evils of the Third Reich. "Although I feel a duty to push the dark head of nazism under water, I also think it is on it's way out regardless. Islam provided us, through 9/11, the chance to focus on the evils of Adolph Hitler, and his minions," said Stone.

Some in Hollywood think an Al Qeida-sponsored, catastrophic nuclear attack against the 48 contiguous United States would be the "silver bullet" to finish off the evils of the Fuhrer and his repulsive doctrines, through cinema.

Many in Hollywood have signed on for parts, to include Sean Penn, Garrison Keillor, and Al Franken. Dana Carvey has been commissioned to modernize his "Bush 41" impression to include "Bush 43." Liam Neeson will once again tap the Aryan acting method for the part of the Nazi dictator.

Stone indicates a balance. "When I talk about 'feel good' movies, I mean that Dana Carvey's portrayal of President Bush will most likely be panned as a reconstituted Master Of Disguise disaster, but maintain a certain whimsical quality that tells the audience, hey,this is a hoot."

As far as the sociopolitical implications, Stone is less optimistic.

"Sure, I want this to effect change in our world--to defeat the Nazis. And if I can provoke--or as it were--encourage a nuclear holocaust to end the European one, then an Oscar will pale in comparison."

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