Monday, January 10, 2005

Michael Jackson To Cite "Systemic Failures" in Child Molestaion Case

There's only one thing you need to know about CBS, Dan Rather, and the Killian memo report:

Giving Dan Rather anything that could have potentially brought down the Bush presidency was like giving a Lavitra© pill to Bill Clinton. And the physiological implications may have been similar.

So I'm sitting at my father's house, where he's got Hannity & Colmes turned up to eleven on the volume knob. And there's the rump-end of the hallowed, journalistic pack-donkey--Carl Bernstein, media superstar of the 1970's who still pats himself on the back for drumming Richard Nixon out of office. What, pray tell did the silvery sin-sniffer have to say about CBS' malicious attempt to influence an election?

Of course. CBS would have never have stooped to such a level. Honest. The failures were "systemic" and (as CBS has already intoned) "an unfortunate series of missteps." Dan Rather had no political axe to grind with Mr. Bush(which is why the original plan was to break the story on the non-axe-grinding time of election eve, one must guess).

The "misstep" defense was ripened about the time that congressmen were being sent to jail for embezzling money from the house post office, and Johnny Chung was dropping cash-filled manila envelopes on the desk of the President. Dan Rostenkowski went so far as to imply that he was merely availing himself to "tragic loopholes in the system", and that he was a mere product of this mere, mundane malevolency. And Uber-Idiot Senator, Barabra Boxer goes on Larry King's now-defunct radio show to lay out zinger-defenses like "hey, even Hitler most likely had a balanced checkbook." Now that is woman who thinks on her feet.

To say that Dan Rather was not hopped up to nail president Bush is just an apallingly ignorant take on reality. Dan Rather's media rap sheet reads like an arraignment of Def-Jam Records employees--and longer than a Liz Taylor prenuptial agreement. But a few just ring to the top--demostrating his vociferous hatred for all things remotely related to a conservative bent. But let's just stick with his take on things militaristic.

In June of 1988, Dan Rather hosted a CBS special, The Wall Within. Rather interviewed six individuals who presented themselves as Vietnam veterans. All six of these men has testified to being part and parcel of the Vietnam Vibe, by killing innocent civilians, and furthermore stating that they were now drug addicts because of their quasi-satanic exploits. Further scrutiny of the claims revealed that only one of the six men was actually in Vietnam. And that one claimed to have been a 16 year-old Navy Seal but was in fact an equipment tech.

The service records of these men were easily obtained by BG Burkett, the author of Stolen Valor: How the Vietnam Generation Was Robbed of its heroes and its History. The sheer ease at which Rather's baited-breath presentation of the rabid-dog veteran was dismantled by a modicum of research makes the fact that CBS has never retracted the story even scarier.

The CBS apologists are out in force, and all the exculpatory inertia they can muster for Rather is "hey, leave him alone, he cried on David Letterman's show shortly after 9/11."

Huh? The Dan vetted his french-like fear of losing his comfort on a talk show, broke down and cried while reciting "thine alabaster cities gleem--undimmed by human tears"(remember, according to Peter Jennings, we need them to help us understand what's happening in the world, and we needed Dan Rather to point out that human tears were dimming our brown-abaster city right about then) and we're supposed to somehow let that dispel any outrage we might feel when Rather would register his disspointment that Saddam Hussein did not come out fighting when he would be captured? That's the best you can do?

Dan Rather was not "duped." He wanted those documents to be true, or at least true until Nov. 3rd, and then they could go the way of the Schwarzenegger groping complaints after the California gubernatorial recall.

Fortunately, it was Dan who got to go away . . . but not before copping a journalistic feel himself.

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