Friday, January 07, 2005

Napalm and Hypocrisy--Same Smell


Watching Ted Kennedy moralize against the would-be Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales brings with it a great degree of chaudenfruede--that twisted, kind of paradoxical feeling of both pain and exhiliration from the same stimuli.

But . . . if a man who drove a car off a bridge in a drunken stupor, swam himself to safety, and left a young campaign volunteer to suffocate and claw the upholstery can still vociferate against the likes of Justice Robert Bork's Constitutional prism, as well as an unstated Gonzalez Doctrine on pointing pork chops at dying muslims, then you go girl (and by "girl" I mean bloated, alcoholic senator).

Granted, the good senator did manage to earn an aquanaut badge, by performing mouth-to-self resucitation, and expedite the search for Mary Jo Kopechne by getting to a phone in the nano-chronological blip of nine hours.

Yes. We need this man as the moral gatekeeper to make sure our Attorney General doesn't condone beating Al-Qeida operatives with a wet barber strap. Maybe an oversight comittee:

  • Kennedy--Morals Chief and Bartender
  • Torquemada--Nursery and Day Care
  • Pol Pot--Agriculture (all fields)
  • Stalin--Ditches
  • Barbara Boxer-- Exposed Cerebellums

How any colleague of this man was able to sit on the Senate Ethics Committee and keep a straight face is beyond the scope of understanding. This would be like adjudicating the Islamic beheadings in Iraq, with OJ Simpson as Chief Council of Carotoid Statistics.

Then again, we have lawyers writing laws . . .

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