Saturday, January 15, 2005

Pro-Abortion Bracelet Hailed as Contraceptive by Pro Life Groups

In an unexpected turn of events, pro abortion group NARAL has found themselves the unwitting purveyor of a contraceptive device, which will prevent the desired goal of a net, fiscal increase in abortions for 2005.

The Uteran Tourniquet

The bracelet, originally intended to ride the inertia of an ever-growing tendency for political rivals to ornamentally express their polarizations, is being promoted by pro-life groups with the secondary function of a "Uteran Tourniquet."

Anonymous sources inside NARAL say they are outraged by any attempt to employ a reproductive right before an abortion opportunity arises, and that the abominable misappropriation of a decorative implement shows that the anti-choice movement will "stop at nothing to make sure unwanted pregnancies don't happen in the first place."

Contraception has long thought to have been invented to circumvent abortion opportunities. One source maintains that the bracelets have but one, cosmetically ideological function.

"We are here to guarantee that all abortions are wanted" she said.

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