The Therapist

"Xmas" To Be Changed to "XX."

One thing is for sure about the last electoral season. It may not have emboldened any Republicans in the Congress, but it sure has put previously conciliatory people like Julie West into a fighting posture. Atheism has spent enough time acting like the anti-God, drape-peeking Gladis Kravitz that it is, that it went off and got itself thought of as its own solitary religion--complete with its own sacraments. And one must at least admire those that congregate, move and shake to the doctrine of actively not believing in something.

And while the atheists have yet to produce their anti-Pentateuch, complete with a set of "10 Demandments," it does seem that stealing makes not the list of taboos, as illustrated in their glad handling of Peter Cottontail, Kris Kringle, and Lucifer the Prince of Darkness--all of who are responsible for squatting in the back alleys of Christian Holidays.

Until now, the passive and silent have watched as the only meaning of Christmas--Jesus Christ--has had his birthday outsourced to a bloated northerner who lies about the whole "naughty and nice list" thing. Methinks that list bit was a condescending attempt to placate the shocked and outraged, since it distantly rings a hollow parallel to a "sheep and goats" rendering.

And how obviatingly hateful can you be, by using "Xmas?" Just walk right up and cross out his name. Sure, nobody's gonna object to that. Oh? Just for shorthand convenience you say? Oh oh, sure I buy that--"Happy Holidays" is so much less ergonomically deleterious to the median nerve tunnel than "Merry Christmas."

My mind wanders to a certain public school employment scenario, in which my supervisor was giving us a safety briefing right before "Spring Break."(read Easter). She accidentally said "Easter", then made a painful gesture of falling on her rhetorical sword over the matter. I mentioned that the apology was more out of place than her Freudian attempt to proseletize a room full of bus drivers. She asked me to curtail my commentary. I didn't.

"Wow, it's a good thing that resurrection happened, so we could have a week off to deny it. And remember, let's keep "Satan" in Halloween."

One must notice the startling contrast with regards to Halloween. The only consternation on the part of atheists during the season of Black Masses (Please, no email from Wiccans or Druids, and to the satanists: I know, Walpurgisnacht is your true, big blowout. It's quiet time for you and I can't possibly be funny with all your technical rangling about "when human sacrifice is actually warranted" and "The origin of Baphomet" and such), eviscerated palettes, and a ban on black cat sales--is whether or not churches are going to pick up the "haunted house" theme for the purpose of teaching somebody the rules of consequence.

So here's the run down.

• A visual assault on the seventh-grade alumni dressed up like Beelzebub complete with fly-ridden, latex animal-carcass = not a religious statement at school.
• Arriving to campus with a mocked-up "Satan attempts to convince Jesus to make bread from a nearby rock" matching set = The Inquisition(Constitutional crisis.)

You figure it out. Because I can't.

posted by Doofus @ 8:33 AM