Saturday, April 02, 2005

Kofi Annan Recalls Pope Being Catholic

Says Pontiff shared with him his beliefs in confidence

The Friar and the Fathead:
Documented Moron, Kofi Annan, during one
of the many private conversations the Secretary
General fondly recalls with the Pope

Vatican City--The man the Volcker Report vetted as the "hereditary bedrock of human stupidity" silenced reporters today, when he alleged that Pope John Paul II might have been Catholic.

Speaking to an assembled press corps. At the United Nations, Annan added his remarks and condolences to a growing body of comments by other world figures, regarding the passing of the Pope today.

"He told me many enlightenments, " said Annan. "He told me it was wrong to molest children, and I shuddered at the wisdom. He told me that he was pro-life, and I just shuddered. Then he told me he was a Catholic. I will never, ever forget that solitary moment, when it was just the two of us."

Annan says that his easy-going approach to diplomacy may have been what led the Pope to "open up" and share the deep, hidden beliefs within one Karol Wojtyla--otherwise known to the world as Pope John Paul II.

"He was friendly, and easy to speak with," said Annan. "But there were things about him I did not understand. Once he was anointing the flock with olive oil, and a man walked up, carrying fishes and loaves. He asked the Pope for the oil, while handing him the food. That is a concept I still, to this day, cannot get my mind around."

Kofi Annan was on a brief respite from what are all-day, Hooked on Phonics sessions, epidermal therapy that will allow greater sensitivity to bulging pockets, and extensive optometric corrections, to increase recollection to "almost prosecutable levels."

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