Bin Laden's 22-Day Old Zarqawi Eulogy Shows Access To Analog Technology Unhindered By War EffortCronkite calls war "unwinnable," demands Bush get out of Saigon
Bin Laden: Techno-genius
Washington--It would seem that every President Bush begins basking in the baleful glare of good news out of Iraq, he can always count on one thing: a 22-day old retort to the news, recorded by his arch-nemesis, Osama Bin Laden.
Bin Laden's tape-delayed eulogy of slain Muslim leader, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, is seen as yet another defeat for the Bush Administration.
"Here again, we have an audio tape bearing the dulcet-prints of a PR master," said ABC News consultant, Richard Clarke. "The demoralization potential here is powerful."
Analysts point out that, in order for Bin Laden to deliver an audio tape eulogizing Zarqawi within the whirlwind, 22-day window, he must "have the wherewithal to ascend 500 feet up a toilet-less tunnel, cross a Syrian plain, find a dialysis machine, record his eulogy, and parcel it to Al Jazeera with impunity."
"This is an indirect indictment of this Administration's inability to slow down the Bin-Laden juggernaut," said Clarke. "We need to quit dreaming about ninety-day delays and get out before we are defeated."
Other sources say that former news giant, Walter Cronkite, has "transcended the creul veil of senility" to demand that President Bush immediately send in a plethora of CH47 Chinooks into "Saigon."
"He's still quite a euphemiser," said the source. "He also likes blueberries on his pancakes."