Tuesday, June 20, 2006

French Quarter Protests National Guard's Occupation Of New Orleans

New Orleans--As upwards of 100 National Guard troops entered the Big Easy on Tuesday at the behest of mayor Ray Nagin, many in the famed "French Quarter" registered their profound disappointment at what they see is a "rush to order."

Governor Blanco assented to the request primarily because of a crime surge plaguing the area in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath.

"What do the National Guard think they are, the state's police?" asked one French resident. "You can't impose lower crime statistics on a people to whom crime is a staple. It is simply fascist."

"The mayor simply refuses to build coalitions before rushing to arrest mindless gunmen," said another French resident. "Pretty soon, you'll just cause an exponential increase in mindless gunmen, as they become inspired by the incarcerate martyrdom of these people. he couldn't even get those slugs in the 9th ward to go along with this. We certainly are above it."

Other analysts point to Nagin's flagging poll numbers--numbers that barely secured him his recent reelection. Numbers that could also drop precipitously with every drive-by shooting.

"I'd keep an eye on the casualty count," said one expert. "Just as soon as we reach the grim milestone of ten, I'd expect a commensurate drop in his approval ratings."

Nagin also faces an even tougher opponent: a so-called "Dome Mom," whose son is presumed to have been eaten by the land-locked Superdome constituency. FEMA's phlegmatic response times during the Katrina disater is said to have forced thousands to remain inside the famed football stadium and speak with thousands of reporters.

"My son was eaten because of this man's incompetence," she said. "He is the true, gun-wielding thug. And now he bases a national Guard occupation on faulty intelligence."

The woman, currently living in a tent, stated her plans to move her tent to the mayor's house "until we bring our troops back to Louisiana."

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