Sunday, June 04, 2006

Al Jazeera: Vicious Marine Juggernaut Wipes Out Vietnamese Village Along Tigris River

John Kerry demands inventory on portable phones, duct tape, inquiriy into Auschwitz footage

Many experts agree that the American war against terror was severely hindered,
as news organizations across the world aired footage of this American Marine,
performing what appears to be a point-blank execution of an unarmed Vietnamese Iraqi.

Washington--The mind-numbing vortex of American military scandal grew even more fierce this morning, as the arab television network, Al Jazeera, aired footage of what it called "another day in the life of an infidel murderer."

Footage aired on the network this morning shows a meek-looking, Vietnamese man, flinching against a point-blank gunshot as he his dispatched by what appears to be an American Marine in his mid-20's. Other supplementary footage indicates the entire village from which the man hailed was also summarily destroyed. Many in Washington were quick to register their outrage.

Rep. John Murtha (D.,Penn) demanded that the Americans who "traded in the currency of innocent blood" be brought before a world court. Massachusetts senator, John Kerry, spared no derision either.

"If, and I mean if--these cold blooded, calculating, alleged killers are found to be guilty of personally raping, cutting off ears, cutting off heads, taping wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turning up the power, cutting off limbs, blowing up bodies, randomly shooting at civilians, razing villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shooting cattle and dogs for fun, poisoning food stocks, and generally ravaging the countryside of southern Iraq, then I need them to battle the Swift Boat guys. Oh, and they ought to be punished."

Despite the alleged bias of the Arab network, many see the footage as a potential "nail in the coffin" for the American war on terror. Unconfirmed reports from the network also indicate a videotape was dropped off at Al Jazeera--a particularly damning piece of footage that may show the emaciated bodies of thousands of Jews being freight-loaded out of gas chambers in a secret camp outside Baghdad, with a governmental code name of "Auschwitz." House minority leader, Nancy Pelosi, said the reports were "disturbing" at best.

"The seriousness of the allegations is enough to call all angels into action," she said. "It is time to bring our . . . um, boys home.”

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