Cindy Sheehan To Oppose Fur, Smelting, Alchemy, Cholesterol, Clear-Cutting, Parental Notification, Acid Reflux, Daylight Savings Time And LitterOne woman tour-de-force narrowing focus, gaining momentum
Observers say that Sheehan's uncanny ability to narrow her passions to Iraq, Israel, fur, smelting, alchemy, cholesterol, clear-cutting, parental notification, acid reflux, daylight savings time, and litter illustrates the "mettle of a true warrior."
Crawford, TX.—"Peace mom," Cindy Sheehan, who lost her son to the Iraq war in 2004, says she is "closing in" on the issues closest to her heart, by narrowing her political focus to--among her already stated positions on the Israeli occupation and the Iraq war; fur, smelting, alchemy, cholesterol, clear-cutting, parental notification, acid reflux, daylight savings time, and litter.
"Even I can't maintain the energetic inertia to save the world," she said. "And so I, painful as it is, must make a choice of some over others, and I apologize to those victims of nickel-plating, insecticides, The Exxon Valdez, high triglycerides, Islamophobia, sexual harassment and racial profiling, because I never meant to leave you in the dust."
Analysts say Sheehan is just getting her second wind.
"Admittedly, there are some of us that are hoping that she will pick up the mantle of Campaign finance reform, but that's a bit optimistic," said one. "She needs to refresh, and give fur, smelting, alchemy, cholesterol, clear-cutting, parental notification, acid reflux, daylight savings time, and litter the white-hot focus they deserve, without relenting on the war or Israel. This has Rosa parks written all over it."
Many democrats believe Sheehan has overcorrected and risks becoming an eleven-note samba, subject to the fatigues of a restless viewing public.
"We are worried that blaming President Bush for only eleven things will make her look like a minion with a political agenda," said one democrat. "We're hoping that she can compartmentalize her emotions very shortly, and get back to nailing Bush for everything."