Monday, June 27, 2005

Scammer Redux

So John has since written me back, and I've obliged him. I hope he isn't getting frustrated with me. Here's John's "I'm obviously an artful-dodger" appeal to me:

My Dear ,

Thank you for your response to my urgent and confidential proposal to you, be informed that my purpose of contacting you is for you to collaborate with me in this transaction because it is not easy for me to handle this transaction alone with this finance firm here in cotonou - republique of benin west africa.

Let me solicit for your confidence and trust in this transaction as it is legal, i have taken all necessary underground works in here before contacting you which has cost so much money to achieve in order to ensure that this funds are successful claim , every plan for this fund to be transferred has been made to avoid implications or hinder trace to your future (or) have any problem with any person or government on the arrival of the fund ,you will carry on your life as you dreamed you will have the paperwork to prove that you and i is in to investment with the money on transfering of this fund into any bank account you will moninate and a receipts for transactions shall be testament that you are the fund manage to invest this fund into your country privet sector and none of them will have the name of my deceased client on the arrival of the funds into your moninated account the paperwork will answer and (detour) any questions that may spring up with clever man...(men) ...that will song to follow you .

Note that the total valued deposited here is $5.6 million usd and upon our claiming of the deposits and its transfer to your position i will come to your country to meet with you for subsequent disbursement of the funds according to the agreed percentage and initiation of investment project in your country as we (share) in the mutual understanding 40 % to you while 60% for me .

Due to the recent developments in this transaction, all you should do is to comply with me to enable us mutually undertake this prospects within this period and to avoid jeopardising this transaction .so kindly contact the institution with this application text bellow so that this funds can be approve and re-transferred to your position as the beneficiary to inherite this deposit.

be strong i have my ways to execute this transaction so that both of us will have our fund invest any how we like it safe and sound good without sound abusive .Go through this application very well, re-write it and send it to this institution via email address at ; ( Address Omitted by The Therapist) or faxmail at 229-74-5845 .

please note your swift cooperation is highly needed and once again i am very grateful for your assistance in this transaction. as soon as you send it, try and call them so that they will start processing for the transfer immediately i wish to talk to you call me +229485573.fill the gaps and send it to the bank .

anticipating hear from you soonest.

yours honest,


This poor guy. I'd be tempted to send the pitiful thing a few bucks if I didn't know he was preparing to empty out my bank account:


My apologies, but the website you sent me to is requesting a retinal, right-eye scan. I would sincerely love to comply with this and help your client, but my right eye was recently stolen in an abrupt manner, and wouldn't you know it? The guy emptied out my secondary savings account because I, being the dummy, had my PIN number taped to my optical nerve.. I was really really steamed for ten minutes. You just can't leave your eye's laying around in front of God and man and think that the inherent benevolence of humanity will rule the day--that is sooo wrong.

If you can give me any ideas, I'd appreciate it.

I Love You,


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