Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Tennessee Teen Celebrates Supreme Court Ruling By Killing Adult

Court weighs removing 'Thou Shalt Not Kill' thorn from flesh

Celebrations of the US Supreme Court's moratorium
on the death penalty for minors is well underway,
as illustrated by this overt exercise of constitutional
latitude by a 14-year old citizen

Cumberland City Tenn.--A 14-year old boy was seen reveling in the afterglow of the US Supreme Court's moratorium on the death penalty for minors, by shooting his bus driver at point blank range. ACLU insiders say the expedience shocks even them.

"This is what we call 'putting feet to one's rights,'" said Atty. P. Sophdung. "Usually, the constitutional acclimation process for the young is quite phlegmatic, but this young man stepped up and owned the day."

Sources say the student had been kicked off the bus two weeks earlier for possessing smokeless tobacco on a bus known for carrying children as young as kindegarten. ACLU attorney Sophdung contends that these intrusions are what bring about a youthful lust for revenge against their aged oppressors.

"They still have the unfortunate stigma of the eighth commandment hanging over their heads," he said "We have confidence in the wisdom of the Supreme court to remove the cloud of guilt guaranteed to hang over this young man's head. He is the real victim. The mature have no right to rob this youth of his moment of glory."

(Memo to ACLU. This is satire. You people, unfortunately, are not. Go and do some more pro bono work for NAMBLA )

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