Tuesday, March 01, 2005

France Issues Premptive Surrender As German Jobless Rate Hits 12.6%

Paris, France--French president Jaques Chirac, upon hearing the latest gloomy economic forecast from Germany, has issued a preemptive surrender.

Germany, with 5.216 million people out of work, have rung in with the worst economic numbers since the 1930's. Many in the region are aware of the nation's tendency to project their financial frustrations outward. France is first to issue a preemptive measure such as this.

"We are a peaceful people," said Chirac, "and we also realize that a preponderance of Islamic fundamentalists in our country have displaced any Jews we could blame for the problem. We hereby fall into a subservient role at the behest of the Chancellor."

Minutemen within Paris commenced to tearing up bed sheets and affixing them to sticks. Designated ankle-grabbers lined up in an unprecedented queue. Women took up arms to fight the Germans before Chirac issued the surrender on paper.

"Please, in the name of saving Versailles, the Champs Elysees, and the Louvre, put down any sense of resistance. The Germans are our true fathers.,” said Chirac.

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