Thursday, June 15, 2006

New Terror Leader To Deliver Rousing "Thousand Points Of Spatter" Inaugural Speech

"Shining, nukable city on a hill" expected to resonate with Jihadists, democrats say experts

Could this man deliver the house to the Democrats in 2006?

Iraq--Even as the Al-Qeida terror network named a new leader to replace Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, the somewhat obscure president-elect is said to be preparing a speech that throws significant red meat to their base--primarily that of the young Jihadist demographic and the American liberal democrat.

According to insiders close to his inner circle, Abu Ayyub al-Masri, also known as Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, is said to be tapping his "extraordinary rhetorical gifts" to deliver what could go down historically as one of the most inspiring Jihadist speeches ever given. The stark imagery and phraseology expected to grace the new leader's text are also thought to touch on larger themes such as, "Shining, Nukable City on a Hill," "A Thousand Points of Spatter," and "Mr. Bush, Tear Down This Wall at the Mexican Border."

Congressional democrats are also expecting a potential political windfall from the expected and significant imprint on the public consciousness, both in the 2006 mid-term elections as well as the prized presidential race of 2008.

"We're not going to bet the ranch on it," said DNC Chairman, Howard Dean. "But we've been struggling to get our message out. We've needed an anti-Reagan for a long time. Maybe we've finally got him."

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