Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Bush Issues Apology For Teasing Guy From Metallica's "One" Video

Blind, deaf, faceless WW1 veteran with no arms or legs "not terribly offended," say friends

Mr. Bush grimaces after learning that
an unnamed faceless quadruple amputee
was unable to hear his jokes.

Washington--It was as if George W. Bush could not gain his stride today, as he greeted White House reporters in the Rose Garden.

"I see Mat sitting out there . . . or is it Bob?" said Mr. Bush, addressing the World War one veteran whose struggles with isolationist depression were chronicled by the thrash metal group, Metallica.

"It's not either," said another reporter nearby.

"Tell Venus Demilo I'll catch him after this conference."(laughter)

It was only later that the President learned that the gentleman was suffering from "Landmine Proxiumus Rash," an affliction usually contracted when an unarmored human being steps on a subterranean explosive device.

"The President was merely trying to be congenial," said White House Spokesman, Tony Snow. "He's since spoken with the man through his torsal-tactile interpreter and said he was sorry for the uninformed gaffe.

"All is well," said the interpreter. "He said he'd even vote for the President a third time, despite being called "Hanging Chad" in front of thirty-million people."

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