Thursday, June 08, 2006

I Think It Would Be Better To Be Processed By Tyson Foods Than To Be An Indonesian Muslim

By Bird,
Bird Flu Expert
and Guest Columnist

I'm just sayin'. After all I hear about Allah, and how his mighty thumb is supposedly on the roulette wheel, one's got to wonder whether living in Indonesia would be a more painful existence than to be culled for an extra-crispy ten-piece bucket.

If an earthquake isn't graveling over the pilgrims, then they're getting an oceanic acid bath in their huts in the wake of that earthquake. If you can run fast enough to escape the tsunami, then you will probably run into a chicken coop for shelter--and take a big snootful of the h5n1 virus, infect your family, and suffocate in a miserable, inland respiratory dispatch. So I’ll pass on the whole Islamic islander thing, people. I’ll take my chances. The Great Chicken God’ll turn out that Allah any day.

And if I go down, I’m a martyr. At least I’m not afraid of pork.

Bok Bok.

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