Monday, September 12, 2005

Kennedy To Roberts: We Must End World Where Underprivileged Drown, Privileged Drive Away”

Phlegmatic law enforcement response also of concern, says senator

Kennedy(left) made an emotional plea to Roberts (right), reiterating his commitment to eliminating the system that allows some people to drown, while others take flight.

Washington—As John Roberts sat for his first day to face the Senate Judiciary Committee, he found himself regaled with peripheral concerns about Hurricane Katrina.

The most compelling statements came from Senator Edward Kennedy (D), of Massachusetts.

“I am deeply concerned,” Kennedy told Roberts in preliminary statements. “Concerned that while those without a voice were drowning under the nighttime sky, that others were making hasty and unconcerned exits from the area. Those with privilege will never have to answer for their deliberate negligence. Are you ready to consider the court’s role in changing these travesties?”

Roberts remained quiet, but nodded a general approval that those in the throes of major flooding should be rescued.

Kennedy also noted the “significant gap” between the actual events and the real-time arrival of responding agencies.

“It’s almost like somebody was using controlled substances on the job,” he said. “The working time deficit figures we keep running into is nine hours. Nine hours for responsible entities to report, and thus nine hours for the good people of the responding agencies to pull these people from their watery crypts. I for one am disgusted. This would never happen under Senator Kennedy’s watch.”

Roberts gave no responding statement, but dig signal strong concurrence with Kennedy’s assertions that “all responsible parties must answer to the American people.”

“And especially the families of these people,” said Kennedy. “If I have anything to say about it, George W. Bush will have to explain every single drowning in the living rooms of all respective kin. And you can count on old Kennedy to drive this one through the rainy night of political opposition.”

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